Sometimes the burn comes fast. It clutches at my chest and threatens to burst me apart. It’s just an emotion, a feeling, but it still wants to consume me and turn me into ash. The burn is fear, it’s loneliness and panic.
I’ve tried to outrun it and dodge it. I’ve tried to fight it, to convince myself to just “push on”. My heart turned cold to avoid the intensifying heat. However, the resulting numbness was just as hard to bear. In the worst days, I’d have given anything to feel. To feel hatred or guilt would have been better than nothing!
Anxiety is part of me, but it’s not all of me! Now, I try not to run, I try not to fight it. It’s allowed to be there, I try to accept its presence and move on. It’s become a family member that I don’t see eye to eye with, but that I try to love anyway. Oh, yea, I get frustrated by it, I still feel the heat build. But, the burn doesn’t last as long.