2015I couldn't calm my mind, It was spinning out of control. I was thinking about everything and nothing. I didn't know I was having a panic...
GP KRANJI got to the start still not feeling very good. Something was not right and I was feeling queasy. In the team meeting before the race I...
SencurIn 2016 the municipality of Sencur was set to host a criterium, but a freak snow storm had it cancelled at the final hour. That was...
Giro del Medio Brenta"Oh shit! Did he just say it's a 20km hill, i thought it was 10!" I wanted to clarify, but I didn't want to ask for clarification. So I...
Trofeo Città di Brescia - Facebook Blog PostA circuit race in the Lombardy region of Italy. It's unique in that it starts at 8.15pm. 21 laps of a 6km circuit with a 1km climb...
Tour of Slovenia Stage 5 - Facebook Blog PostThe final fight - Just 8km into the final stage things were not looking good for finishing the Tour if Slovenia. - A short (2km) climb...
Tour of Slovenia Stage 4 - Facebook Blog PostControlled Rage "When anxiety is not under control, when you've tried accepting it and then tried relaxation techniques, if it's still...
Tour of Slovenia Stage 3 - Facebook Blog Post"...Bollé Adria Gazprom ooh Pascal Ackermann red socks green socks customised socks with names Controltech sound of wheels helicopter...
Tour of Slovenia Stage 2 - Facebook Blog Post"This is too hard, you can't do this" Negative chatter was off chops early in stage 2. Every pinch in the road, each stretch out of every...
Tour of Slovenia Stage 1 - Facebook Blog PostStage one of The Tour of Slovenia was littered with small climbs, narrow roads and technical descents. 5 days before - my eyes had been...
Ben Hill, wins the 65th Trofeo Alcide Degasperi in Italy - Facebook Blog PostBut, the heart of this blog is not about the win. It's selfish, it's about disappointment, my disappointment. Yeah, team success and the...
30I NEVER THOUGHT MY 20's COULD BE SO..... Honestly - I couldn't be happier to leave them behind. At 19, I was plunging into the depths of...
HUNGARY and SLOVAKIA - A Double Whammy - Two Days - Two UCI One Day Races - Facebook Blog PostsHUNGARY, Budapest "You do four laps of a circuit at the end, there is a short sharp 1km climb on the lap, it's narrow, cobbles down the...
Circuito del Porto - Facebook BlogMy second race for the year was the Circuito del Porto, a one day flat race in Cremona, Lombardy region, Italy. The town itself, upon...
WOLVES AT THEIR HEELSI couldn’t hold her hand without fear reaching from within my soul and strangling me on the spot. Love, purpose, hope, all driven out...
RARELY CAPTURES A SOUL This photo was taken in 2010, I was 21. I’m standing with mum and dad. It’s been a year and a half since I first retired from cycling....
SEE BEHIND THESE EYES Loss is hard, but life is not just found in joy, it’s found in the scope of human experience. It’s found in loss and pain as well as love...
CRUMBLE TO THE GROUNDIt’s like being encircled by skyscrapers as they simultaneously crumble to the ground. What strength do you have to stop them, to avoid...
IN THE DARKI stood in the dark as my world crumbled. I didn’t want to go inside and I didn’t want to stay outside. I wanted to drop to my knees and...
THE WORST OF DEPRESSIONThe worst of depression has been the struggle to find a reason to live. Not only have l felt alone and afraid, but hope has seemed...